


red cheeks and smiles

by sorrybaabyx



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Ellie has a panick attack, F/F, Not Beta Read, spoilers for tlou2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:08:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25597822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorrybaabyx/pseuds/sorrybaabyx
Summary: “We will always have our scars but I love you nonetheless.”Just a few moments set in Ellie and Dina's life, a few years after the game.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 66





	red cheeks and smiles

Years have passed since Seattle, since Santa Barbara.  
They’re still in Jackson, the farm and the guitar sitting near a window are distant memories to which they didn’t know if they would ever come back. JJ is seven now and Ellie can’t believe her eyes how much he grew up.  
Sometimes all she can see is Jesse, the pose he took when he knocked on her door, his hands gestures, his laugh too.  
The one time she realized JJ’s laugh was the same as Jesse’s, Ellie frooze, panic rising, guilt flowing her heart.  
Tears were starting to stain her cheeks.  
The laugh was a small one, an almost snort. His loud one is all Dina’s, she noticed that years before and she still cherishes every memory in which she made him laugh like that.  
JJ was playing in the park with some kids, she and Dina were sitting on a bench, always looking at him.  
At the time they were on speaking terms, they hugged a few times and hung out a few more, but nothing else.   
Once, after Dina had a bad day, she found Ellie with dinner at her door. They ate together, hot milk in chipped mugs, while Ellie told her horrible puns, and they tried unsuccessfully not to laugh too hard, waking for a moment JJ.  
Dina’s smile reached her eyes and Ellie’s cheeks were red.   
_This feels good_ , both of them thought.  
The next morning, Ellie woke up, still sitting at the desk and a nagging pain everywhere, her journal was open and filled with a miriad of sketches which tried, in vain, to convey Dina’s beauty. The euphoria Ellie felt when the other girl smiled at her.  
They were working on it, they still are.  
Every moment Ellie can spend with Dina and JJ, even the briefest ones, like Dina who squeezes her hand before going back home or the nod she gets from JJ when he’s on his way to school and she’s having breakfast on her porch, are enough for her.  
She feels lucky everytime she’s in their presence.  
Ellie remembers Dina noticed immediately her distress, she called her name a few times, concerned.  
She couldn’t answer, her hands started shaking feebly.  
Dina tried again, with still no reply she crouched down in front of Ellie, her hands cupping her neck, foreheads touching one another.  
Ellie felt her thumbs circling on her cheeks, cleaning her face from the tears.  
“Hey, Ellie, I’m here. You’re okay, you’re okay.”  
“You’re okay, we’re okay.” Dina continued to repeat it until she sensed her muscles were relaxed once more, her breath slowed down and the tremors on her hands got better.  
Ellie gave in Dina’s touch, she wanted to feel everything.  
Ellie reached with her hands to cup her cheeks, trembling and unsure.  
“I’m sorry,” she told Dina faintly.  
“You don’t have to say that anymore,” she pressed a kiss on top of Ellie’s red hair, quickly, shying away immediately.  
 _Yes, I do. I know you’ve heard that already but I’m still sorry for everything, for Jesse, for leaving you so many times_ , but she stayed silent.  
Dina was seaten beside her again, Ellie’s hands suddendly empty, without a purpose.  
She felt Dina’s shoulder touching hers, giving a little bump. They shared a shy smile.   
Ellie had still the ghost of the words she wanted to tell Dina on her lips.

A month later Ellie was coming back home after a very tyring day spent teaching a group of teeangers how to shoot.   
“Fucking kids.” Why did they have so many problems at merely listening to her?  
With familiarity, her heart ached at the thought of Joel, but it was bearable. For a moment, she thought she saw him, drinking coffee and a glint of hope in his eyes, like the last time she talked to him.  
She wanted to sleep for a week.  
Dina was sitting on her steps, shivering.  
Fall began recently and she wasn’t wearing any jacket.  
 _Damn it, Dina_.  
Frantically, Ellie reached her “Is JJ okay? Are you okay?”  
“Yes, yes, he’s with his grandma.”  
“Good. Are you cold? Do you wanna come in?”  
“No, it’s cool. I just wanted to talk with you,” Dina answered, after some consideration.  
“You’re freezing, give me a moment,” she entered the house and took the purple blanket Ellie had on her couch, since the week before when Dina and JJ stayed to watch a movie and both of them got cold in the middle of it.  
Later that night, when JJ and his mom went back home, Ellie left it there, for next time.  
Ellie put the blanket on Dina’s shoulders with care, wrapping her in it.  
She acknowledged her action with a hint of a smile.  
Dina started to talk before she could overthink everything.   
“I forgive you.”  
Ellie tried to stutter some words, anything.  
“Not for everything, I guess. I’m still working on it, you know, but I’ll never stop if you won’t either. Things between us have changed, I feel more at ease, everything is warmer, JJ loves you a lot and I know you do too.” Ellie wanted to talk then, but Dina stopped her, covering her hand, the scarred one, the one with three fingers. Ellie couldn’t grasp why if Dina had to choose she would always choose that hand to hold.  
“Do you remember that day at the park? I realized I’ve had alrealdy forgiven you, for some of it at least. For the last year, even before you told me you were sorry, I was trying but in reality I couldn’t, it was too difficult and scary to even think about all that, beacuse I didn’t want to break, not when JJ is there and he needs me, but then I understood I needed to feel everything and when we started hanging out together again, it felt good. I want to say these words to you beacause I need to know that you do, to get better and to keep trying together.”  
Dina rambled nervously, she gripped the other girl’s hand to steady herself, to not crumble, but Ellie was amazed, she couldn’t look at her beacause she felt like she didn’t earn any of it.  
Dina squeezed her hand, gesturing to look up “Hey, we deserve this, after everything we’ve been through, after all the blood we’ve lost.”  
A soft forehead touch, and then a whisper “I won’t stop if you won’t either.”

It’s fall all over again. It’s a pleasant morning, the window is half opened and some crisp air enters their bedroom, making flutter the ruined green curtains and almost waking up Dina who tightens her grip on the blankets, leaving Ellie with merely a thin sheet.  
Ellie slowly draws closer to Dina, her hand reachs her girlfriend’s hip, mindlessly she softly grazes at the scar she has there, reminding of her own on the same spot.  
Dina groans “Why did you leave the window open? I’m freezing.”  
“Hey babe, you made sure to steal all the blankets too,” Ellies smiles at the view of Dina’s pout.  
 _So adorable_.  
“Hey stupid,” she strokes Ellie’s cheek softly, an hamsa bracelet secured on her wrist, after so many years Ellie has still her old one “Did you get some sleep?”  
“Yeah, some.”  
Ellie’s hand is still touching her scar, Dina cups her neck with both hands “We will always have our scars but I love you nonetheless.”  
“I won’t stop if you won’t either.”  
They stare at each other, memories replaying in their eyes and then, using both hands to hold onto each other, they kiss.  
“Now get up and close the window for me, please?”  
“Yes ma’am,” Ellie laughs.  
Dina’s smile reaches her eyes and Ellie’s cheeks are red.  
 _This feels good_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> It's my first fic in English that I ever posted, so I'm quite nervous and I would really like to know what you think.  
> I got inspired by a post in which reminded me that Ellie and Dina have the same scars (I actually haven't checked, my brain said "yes they're on the same spot and I trusted it for once) and I started writing this.  
> You can find me on tumblr at sorrybaabyx.


End file.
